The Battle of the Two Forces

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Where does the feeling that We Are Alone come from?
It comes from a division in ourselves.
If we were not divided in ourselves we would experience ‘Oneness’.
This inner oneness allows us to be able to be open to others and to the world, experienced as a a sense that we are not alone.
The fact is that our attention is taken most of the time with an Inner Battle, characterised by 2 forces opposing each other.
The Battle of the Two Forces?
Simply it’s the force of the ‘ego’ not liking the second force, how we might be behaving or feeling.
So for instance when we feel fearful, miserable, angry, shame, guilt, bored, empty, embarrassed, depressed, anxious etc, the ego pops up and starts judging and criticising how we are.
This self judgement and criticism does nothing to help us.
In fact it creates an inner war.
The 2 ‘forces’ in this war are the feeling that is not liked and the judge.
This war in ourselves is self-absorbing. This is why we cannot connect to others and what makes us feel alone.

What is the answer?
A third force is needed.
Gurdjieff calls this third force the ‘neutralising force’
It is characterised by the action ‘To Allow’
We Allow ourselves to be exactly how we are, howsoever we are.

This is largely what therapy is about.
When we go to a therapist a therapist asks us to look into, to experience our discomfort.
This is the opposite of what we normally automatically do.
The therapist can help us go against this automatic reaction to run from discomfort.
When discomfort is Allowed (and of course we can practice this ourselves on ourselves), there is no judgement, and therefore no problem.
There is now inner harmony, we have accepted ourselves.
We feel a connection with ourselves, which then allows a connection to others, the world, even with the universe.
We no longer feel alone.

The outer circumstances of war and peace may not matter very much, it is the inner war and peace that rules our world. Certainly for those who have not experienced ‘outer’ war, we all know that ‘peacetime’ does not correlate with feeling ‘not alone’.

Dan Graham

Certificate of Humanistic Counselling at the Gestalt Centre in 2018/19

Camden Town, London

[email protected]

Photo credit: Charl Folscher – Inner Conflict – Unsplash